Newton Method:-

Let Veerappan catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught Veerappan.

Einstein Method:-

Run in the direction opposite to that of Veerappan.
Due to higher relative velocity, the Veerappan will also Run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap him easily.

Schrodinger Method:-

At any given moment, there is a positive probability that Veerappan to be in the Jungle.
So set the sandal trap, sit down and wait.

Inverse Transformation Method:-

We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it.
Perform an inverse transformation with respect to Veerappan.
Veerappan is in and we are out.

Thermodynamic Procedure:-

We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows every thing to pass it except Veerappan. Then sweep the entire forest with it.

Integration Differentiation Method:-

Integrate the forest over the entire area.
Veerappan is some where in the result.
So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t Veerappan to trace out Veerappan.

Theory of Magnetic Attraction:-

Keep Phoolan Devi standing outside the jungle,
Veerappan will automatically attracted out of the jungle.
(For the uninitiated ,Verappan told in an interview that phoolan devi,was his young-age crush and he wanted to marry her)

Jayaprada's Method:-

Send Jayaprada to the jungles with the Rakhi.
Her brotherly love will get him out and then u can catch him.
Though there's no scientific proof to check this method, it might work
(For the uninitiated, Jayaprada claimed that she can get Rajkumar free by tying a Rakhi on Veerappan's hand and asking her "brother" to set him free.)

Jim Corbet Method:-

Tie Mithun Chakraborti with a sandal tree and wait with a gun/net At the top of the tree.(For the uninitiated, mithun chakraborti has alleged to received kidnap threats from Veerappan)

Application Software Method:-

Cut(Ctrl+X) verrappan from jungle and Paste(Ctrl+V) him in jail.

Internet option:-

Download veerappan from jungle to Jail-Drive

Programming Method:-

Put verappan in c++ exception handling , he will get automatically caught when he tries to function next time

Software Method:-

Debug jungle.......!!!!!

Mahakal Method:-

Ignore veerappan , time will kill him.

Women stop reading here.

That is the end of the joke for women.

Men keep on reading...

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this,this illustrates another point: Women never listen.
 

Story 1:-

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson :- To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

 

Story 2:-

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients.
" The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson :- Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

 

Story 3:-

A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold,the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,and promptly dug him out.
Then he ate him!
Management Lesson :-
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing.
2. If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That greatly aids my efficiency.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I might need to learn how to function as a paraplegic in future and opening doors is good training.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could get me a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. If fact, save them until the job is almost done.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.

The story does not end here.....

The hare goes home and soon understands that complacency and overconfidence were the reasons of his defeat. He vows not to repeat the mistake again. He then invites the tortoise for another race. The tortoise agrees to his friend's request. They meet at the appointed day and time at the starting point. The race starts. This time the hare dashes off to the finishing line without taking a break and wins the race comfortably. The moral of the story is "Fast and steady wins the race".

The story does not end here.....

The tortoise goes home and thinks hard. He was aware that the hare cannot be defeated in speed. He then ponders over his core competence. At last he finds a solution and invites the hare to another race. This time the course is changed. It is from Paldi to Airport. The hare agrees. At the appointed day and time the two meet at the start line and the race begins. The hare dashes off like a flash. Soon he arrives at the banks of river Sabarmati and is overwhelmed by a sense of dejection as he did not know how to swim. The tortoise comes to the bank, looks at the hare with sympathy and coolly gets into the water. He swims to the other side goes to the airport and comes back. The moral of the story is "Core competence wins the race."

The story does not end here.....

Both the friends decide it was enough of racing against each other. Why not think hard and find a way by which they together could travel fromPaldi to airport at the minimum possible time. At the end of a brain storming session they come out with a solution and decide to try out the next morning. At the appointed time they meet at the starting line. The tortoise sits on the back of the hare. The hare dashes off form Paldi to the banks of Sabarmati. There the hare gets on the back of the tortoise and the tortoise swiftly crosses the river. On reaching the other side the tortoise again sits on the back of the hare. The hare runs as fast as he can to the airport. Thus they both reach airport in the fastest possible time. The moral of the story is "Innovation and team work wins the race"